If you choose to develop this story further, think of ways to establish the conflict of the plot more quickly so that you can get into the rising action more efficiently. You have a lot of very good writing completed already, but it feels like the conflict is only just beginning to establish itself. What does the main character want/need from life? What is the main plot problem that will drive the story forward? How can you show that immediately, and move efficiently into rising action, climax, etc.? Don’t forget that using setting and description can do a lot of useful work for you, too. Your poem has a strong voice and makes some good use of descriptive details. If you choose to develop a poetry collection, think of ways to make it more than purely expressive. Right now, you’re expressing ideas/emotions more than reflecting on their significance/meaning to a larger audience, or offering a new perspective on an experience. What might your poems add to an already ongoing “discussion” about your subject? What new perspectives can you bring, or fresh insights?