Marriage and Family Counseling
Case Study: Forgiveness
The family of Hosea is totally broken through the willful acts of Gomer the wife. She has been unfaithful to her
marriage vows and in her unfaithfulness has conceived a child and or children. There is a possibility that she
will be returning to her husband but the counselor is going to have to incorporate biblical patterns of
forgiveness in the counseling sessions
Forgiveness is a very difficult hurdle for the counselor to guide his / her counselee through and therefore
several biblical truths must be dealt with. Utilize the lesson on forgiveness and apply it to several counseling
sessions that will involve Hosea’s family, which can include the children
There are two initial truths in dealing with Hurts which are: (List them and incorporate them into your first
counseling session with the Hosea family)
• Hurts usually make one see…
• Hurts usually make one set…
o In setting limits of forgiveness one needs to make sure that one is presenting a biblical model of forgiveness,
which is not necessarily what may seem to be Generous or even Spiritual but that which is Biblical –
2.
There are two foundational truths of forgiveness which are: (List them and incorporate them into your second
counseling session with the Hosea family)
• Forgiveness is…
• Forgiveness has active…
o These active ingredients are: (Address these ingredients to the Hosea family within the second session)
First
Second
Third
Fourth
this is what I wrote in another paper that might be helpful; Forgiveness and How it is Achieved
The example Hosea shows is a different kind of picture from what forgiveness is from the norm. Usually, the
person in the wrong approaches the other and requires their mercy. They show remorse for their actions and
ask for forgiveness and restoration of the relationship. However, in Hosea’s case, he continually goes after his
wife and tries to redeem their relationship. He goes ahead to pay the price to get her out of the temple of Baal,
where she had become a slave and forced into prostitution. In Mathew chapter 18:21 to 22, Jesus tells Peter
that he should forgive his brother seventy times seven times. That is to say; forgiveness should be our way of
life since human error is constant. It will be embarrassing to react to every bad deed against us; life would also
be unbearable. In the marriage situation, couples should learn to forgive each other constantly. 1
Corinthians13:4 gives us a clear picture of what love should demonstrate.
Restoring Marriage According to Hosea
In Israel, public humiliation was a form of punishment for an adulterous wife by her husband. Hosea threatens
to humiliate her by claiming she is not his and he is not hers publicly. The threat is meant to caution her of
eventuality if she refuses to change her ways. It is meant to start the restoration process where Gomer sees
the danger of being abandoned presently and in the future. Although she might gain material things in the
present, these things may not exist in the future, leaving her distraught. Before redeeming her, there is a need
for her to desire restoration. This action’s importance is that failure to do it might send her right back to her
actions from the knowledge that she will not be punished.
The restoration of marriage, according to Hosea, is not automatic. It requires the effort of the aggrieved partner
in being compassionate towards the other. Hosea takes the step of seeking his estranged wife, who is lost in
prostitution as a slave to the temple of Baal. To get her back, he has to pay a price which he willfully does.
Hosea considers that she is the mother of his children and is willing to forgive her at all costs. He will not let her
remain in her business and forsake her; his duty is to bring her back home and restore her to her marriage
position.
Hosea also asked his children to appeal to their mother to forsake her promiscuity and return to her husband.
He expects the children to play a role in the restoration of the marriage and even cautions them on the effects
of failure to obey him. Using the children is meant to appeal to her motherly instincts and sway her to a positive
reaction. Additionally, her children’s knowledge and are disgusted by her waywardness is meant to crea
remorse in Gomer. Rather than apply his manly control, he opts to use the gentle force of the voice of his
children.
The estranged spouse also has to play a part in the restoration. She has to go through a purification time,
which meant waiting and preparing. She had to be tested to ascertain if the desired change had happened to
her. Therefore, although one marriage partner decided to forgive the other and restore them to a lover’s
position, the nature of their transgression would require that they prove their change of heart and character
before being fully restored.
, the husband should forgive the wife for enabling reconciliation when his wife decides to change her ways.
God even told Hosea in chapter three to restore his unfaithful wife to himself. In verse two of chapter three, he
goes ahead even to pay the price to redeem her from Baal’s temple. Therefore, forgiveness should begin from
the grieved partner for the marriage to work rather than from the adulterous one. Without forgiveness, it is
impossible to restore the marriage relationship.
The unfaithful wife should prove that she has changed from her ways and is willing to give the relationship all
her attention. In Hosea’s case, the proof is abstinence and maintaining distance from each other for a season.
Since his wife’s nymphomania pushed her to other lovers, abstinence will display the sacrifice she is willing to
make to save her marriage. It will also be a show of remorse and the sacrifice she is willing to go through.
Parenting Needs and Patterns in Nurturing the Children
One parenting need is that of the presence of the parent to nurture and direct the children. Gomer leaves her
children to go and practice prostitution in the temple. Mothers are known to bring up children and to show them
the right way. However, Gomer’s children are alone and only depend on the provision of their father. It is
symbolic of the priests who have forsaken the right teachings and turned religion into a business. They no
longer consider evil since they desire to reap from it. Gomer is after oil and bread and choice ornaments that
she hopes to get from her wayside lovers. Therefore, she neglects her duties for the riches she hopes to get
and the opportunity to survive.
Children need love despite their waywardness from time to time. Their failure to know their parents and to live
according to their expectations leads the children to sin.